When you know better, do better
Last Sunday, as we began our Lenten worship series on the choices we make, I shared a quote from Maya Angelou: “Do your best until you know better, and when you know better, do better.” It’s simple, straightforward advice that seems obvious, as if we shouldn’t have to be told. And yet it remains so quotable because we do need the reminder, both to do better, and to know better.
This Lent, the New England Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church has connected with A Long Talk, a 21-day anti-racism activation experience, whose goal is to put an anti-racist at every dinner table in America. I joined up with the sessions, which includes 21 days of self-guided learning (videos, music, articles, reflections, and online engagement) and two live Zoom sessions with the leaders of the organization. In today’s session, we practiced one of their backbone strategies: interrupting racist (or generally problematic) statements by asking questions that allow people to more fully articulate their views.
While I like to pride myself on thinking that I know both the realities (historical and current) of racism in America as well as how to interrupt its present manifestations, boy did I bomb in the simulation. To ask a genuine question that was neither defensive nor leading was much harder than I thought, and that was in a safe space amongst trusted colleagues.
The facilitators were not at all surprised that this exercise proves difficult for many. Their response was essentially, “don’t worry, just keep practicing.” They respond similarly when white folks are surprised by the past and present persistence of racism. They commonly sing Angelou’s refrain, which I heard at least once in todays session: “when you know better, do better.”
In the spirit of both knowing and doing better, I’m sharing a few links to resources that I’ve found helpful in this series. The first a movie trailer for the documentary “Who We Are,” which features Jeffrey Robinson, a defense attorney and speaker who has given talks across the country to deepen public understanding of white supremacy in the US. The documentary can be rented or purchased on a number of streaming services. (A separate, non-public talk of Robinson’s is used as the foundation text for A Long Talk.)
The second video is a short by Robin DiAngelo, author of White Fragility. In it, she debunks some common thought patterns (myths) that white folks use when it comes to talking about race. You can also read a longer article about why getting white people to talk about racism proves so difficult. Or just pick up her book.
Finally, if you’d be interested in learning more or going through A Long Talk’s activation experience yourself, please let me know. I’m able to invite others into their online platform, and the New England Conference plans to run another church-specific series this summer. Whoever you are, and wherever you are on life’s journey, I can assure you that this long talk is a talk worth having. And I, for one, would love a friend to practice with.
“Do your best until you know better, and when you know better, do better.” Simple words to guide us to and through the choices we make. May we continue to know and do better through this season of Lent and far beyond.
Pastor Jen
